Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Lies I Heard in Church

I grew up in the church.  I was a preacher’s kid.  If the doors were open, I was there.  Seemed like I was there all day Sunday and all night on Wednesday.  I was often there on Saturday’s too, which I thought of as my sacred day, but was frequently booked for me by church activities.  I know church better than I know the Bible.  I know what American Christians tend to say to each other in challenging times.  And I have learned sadly that a bunch of what I heard from my Christian brethren was a bunch of bunk. 

“God will never put on you more than you can bear.”  Really?  Is that true?  Is that Biblical?  It surely is churchical.  Does it mean if I can stand it no more, if I break, that I am going to hell?  Does it mean that since you have never been there you are closer to God than I am so he can load you up with more than me?  Is this like a dump truck contest?  I do not want to win the prize for carrying the most stuff.

I have been broken.  I have been brought low.  I have fallen to my knees and given up.  I have attempted to take my own life.  God gave me way more than I could handle and it really pissed me off.  There are 44,000+ suicides each year and the 14 million + Americans who experience major depressive disorder each year.  Do not tell the walking dead and the already dead they will not be asked to carry more than they can.  It is a lie.  I know it and Robin Williams knows it is a lie.

“God will not allow you to be tempted more than you can bear.”  Really?  I know this one may be more Biblical than churchical, but, if true, then why tempt us at all if we will always resist.  Well, I know that is not true because I have given in to temptations.  So, was God not with me?  Or is this another lie.  Some of my very favorite memories are from the temptations to which I succumbed.  I’d hate to lose those memories, much worse, I’d hate to not have the opportunity to make new memories.  If we swap guilt for pleasure, what do we have if there is no guilt?

“When it looks like you walk alone God is carrying you.  See the footprints in the sand?”  Really?  Then why are my legs too weak to move?  Why is rest beyond my reach?  Did God drop me?  At those times I was most down I never felt a healing, refreshing, renewing power lift me up.  Perhaps I am going to hell, or perhaps you are closer to God than I am.  But I have called out and all I heard in return were echoes.  This too must be a lie.  I think of all the people who were Christian and who have died in a natural disaster and I wonder if God was carrying them.  If so, let me go and I will just run.

“You can be happy if you just find God’s plan for you.”  OK, is this a memo I missed somewhere?  Is it written down?  Does someone else know and they are playing I’ve got a secret?  What the heck does God’s plan look like?  Is it prescribed by age range?  (Do this until you are 30, do this until you are 50, and then do this until you die.)  I keep looking for a plan, but it appears to me all I really need to do is develop my own plan and share that with God.  I’m tired of waiting.  This must be a lie.

“If I tithe I will be blessed by God.”  Right.  Is this solid investment advice?  Are we talking financial reward from God or what?  I give him 10% of my wealth and he gives me what, 1/7 billionth?  I think what it means is that today’s air conditioned and amplified church service led by professional church leaders is very expensive and everybody must chip in as best we can if we want to continue to witness the Sunday performance.  The blessing that comes is air conditioning and shiny floors and clean bathrooms, and depending on the denomination perhaps fancy computer projection screens in the sanctuary so that we won’t regret skipping a movie to attend church.  It seems to me if the Christian life is more about what God gives us than we give to him, then we have this totally backward.  How could our God need money?  He/She doesn’t.  This is a lie.

“If you pray, God will answer your prayers.  It may not be in the answer you want, but He/She will answer.”  I am so confused.  If I pray for the health of my friends, family and other assorted loved ones who are sick, and they die, that would not be the answer I want.  I do not think that is the answer God gave, but it sure looks like it.  If I pray that I win the lottery and I don’t, if I pray my football team wins, if I pray my daughter gets a promotion and none of those things happen, does that mean God is mean?  He/She could have so easily made me tall dark and handsome and rich, but he didn’t.  Why not?  He/She made some folks that way.   Or, is Joel a better name than Bob?  Am I less pleasing in His/Her eyes? What if He/She doesn’t answer at all?  What if I want a sunny day and I get a lunar eclipse, or half and half?  What if I am struggling with a test question and I ask God for help.  I do not get the answer whispered in my ear, but 3 hours later it hits me what the answer was?  Is that God answering my prayer?  Is this just a timing problem, and if so, why am I the one with the timing problem and not the creator of time?  It has been my experience that very, very few of my prayers have obvious, timely answers, some of my prayers are answered way down the road, and some of my prayers are simply ignored.  If God ignores any prayer we pray we cannot say all our prayers will be answered.  That is simply not true.

“God is watching you.  He/She is pleased when you do good things and disappointed when you do bad things.”  If that is true for every human on the planet then God must go through billions of mood swings every day.  I do good things, and often no one notices.  That’s ok, but if God saw it I would really like to hear a “Way to go, Bob!” booming from the heavens.  I get nothing in terms of external reward.  If I do something bad, or evil or illegal or immoral, I worry about getting caught, but if God is like a cop writing tickets, he at least ought to make me sign them so I know He/She knows.  It cannot be true that God is a cop.  It cannot be true that God is waiting to hand our stickers as rewards.  I am convinced this is an old wives’ tale told children to give them their first taste of living in a society with big brother always watching.  Even knowing that does not make me or anyone else a 100% good person.  Should a perfect God develop a perfect strategy?  Since it does not work, this must be a lie. 

That’s enough for now.  In hindsight, it occurs to me I heard more lies in church than I did in school.  Most of what I learned in school was either a fact or a way to process and understand facts.  Not so in church.  In church the lies came to me as though they were scripture ordained by God and not subject to question, or investigation or analysis.  As I realize I have been a fool in church to believe such things, my entire emotional and mental approach to church changes and my suspicion grows.  Am I still a fool?  What are the other lies that I cannot yet see?  Woe is me.  I feel like I did when I discovered there was no Santa Clause.  Have I been raised a fool and a sucker leaning on myths and lies?


That is a prayer I would love to have answered.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Apologizing for God

Assume for a moment that there is a God, an omnipotent, omniscient being who designed and created all that there is including humans.  If so, then we humans are to such God as an amoeba is to us.  Why then, do we need to apologize for so many of God’s actions? 

I ask this question because I can reason, I can think.  Why would a creator God give me such reasoning ability if the net result is either abandonment of the concept of God or a life time of apology?  

Why would we be so impressed with a God who is willing to sacrifice His son for the sins of everyone?  I would never consider such a heinous act with my own children?  Why would an all knowing being do such a thing if He really cares about His son in the same way we care for our children?  Any deity that would ask me to sacrifice my son is not a loving deity.  Why would He model such behavior?  Or, is the death of loved ones no big deal for such a God?

If God designed us he seems to either have an incredible mean streak or a bizarre sense of humor.  Why would those things we tend to love the most and want the most be so bad for us or others?  Food, sex, wealth, etc., are universally desired.  And yet we only remain healthy if we limit our own appetites.  If I ate all that I wanted whenever I wanted I would become obese and unhealthy.  If I had sex with everyone I desired I would be divorced and locked up.  If I make the accumulation of wealth and all the accoutrements of such my life's goal I would be a person without moral or scruple.  Why would He design us to be in the business of self-denial of what we want all the time?  That is just mean.  And for God’s sake, why is exercise so good for us?  I hate it.  If arriving in heaven is good thing, why did He program us with a will to live, even if we are miserable and hopeless? 

Why tell us that if we knock the door will be opened when most of us still stand outside with bleeding knuckles?  Prayer is not answered.  If it is, it is answered in a random, unpredictable way.  We pray deeply for some and they die, we pray deeply for others and their death is postponed.  If God can save anyone from death why doesn’t He?  Is that negligent homicide?

If God designed us and the universe, then why are 95% of the plants on planet earth toxic to us?  Why is almost 80% of planet earth uninhabitable to us?  Why can’t we breathe underwater or breathe in space or survive extreme cold and heat?  Seems so mean to place sentient beings in such an inhospitable environment.  Fish and one-celled organisms are more adapted to life on earth than we are.

If God is a loving and forgiving being, then why are we still being punished for Adam and Eve?  Why would His son have to die to forgive us?  Why not just forgive us? 

To continue to love and worship such a God I must forgive Him.  Forgive Him for a lot!  If so, who is the better being, the superior being? 

Or have we invented all this mythology based on what was our limited understanding of the universe and human behavior?  What we call the scripture was written by mostly illiterate, bronze-aged men.  If the knowledge and memories of all humans were erased would we develop language, social institutions, laws and art?  Yes.  Would we re-discover all math and all science?  Yes.  Would we “re-discover” God?  Not so sure.  Unless we observed burning bushes, walking on water, resurrections, etc., I do not think religion would be “discovered” in this century.  None of those miraculous events seem to happen anymore, if ever. 


So, shall I be a blind believer, or an apologist, or an atheist?  For now, I am praying for insight.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Is “Conservative Christian” an Oxymoron?

Oxymora (I chose the early Latin plural form of oxymoron versus the more common “oxymorons”) are two or more words placed side-by-side that are inherently contradictory.  There are many wonderful and fun oxymora:  Adult Male, Jumbo Shrimp, Military Intelligence, Virtual Reality, Holy War, Small Crowd, Hot Water Heater, and so on.  I am inspired to think about Christianity after reading that Republican Presidential candidates are courting conservative Christians.  Conservative Christians?  Disclaimer:  I am not a theologian.  And yet for the life of me I cannot fathom the construct of conservative Christianity.  I do not understand how those two words are used side-by-side by serious people, much less serious people of faith.

Now that I have some of you jumping up and down and ready to boil tar and pluck chickens, take a deep breath and let us have a rational conversation about this notion.  Such a conversation should begin with two topics:  what do conservative Christians believe and what do I believe. 

When I say Conservative Christian I am lumping the following groups together:  the religious right, the evangelicals, and the fundamentalists.  That may not be fair, but from where I sit there is little distinction in the beliefs and practices of these groups.  They believe in inerrancy, that the Bible is not only the Holy Word of God, but that there are no mistakes in the Bible and that we must follow scripture literally.  They believe that the United States of America was founded on Christian principles, that we are a nation ordained and blessed by God.  They believe that the Bible should serve as the bedrock for all social, political, and scientific decisions and beliefs.  They believe the tenets of their faith should be enacted into law and policy and applied to believers and non-believers alike.  They believe that God rewards the faithful and punishes the sinful, and the reward system is often financial.  And they believe that political solutions to problems, especially those solutions at the federal level, are wrong and that what we should do is seek religious solutions to problems.  They oppose what they see as the growth of intervention of the federal government via the promulgation of political solutions to problems.  Such decisions are best left to the ardent believers at the local level to resolve.  They believe being gay is sinful and a matter of choice, and that same-sex marriage is really sinful.  And somewhere along the way some of them began to promote the image of the President of the United States as some sort of evil villain.  I may have missed some, but those are what I see as their core beliefs.

My beliefs are quite different.  I believe the Bible is an inspirational work, but I recognize that the Bible was not only written by human beings, the content of what we call the Bible was selected by human beings, that means some stuff got in and other stuff was rejected.  The Bible is anecdotal and addresses issues at certain places and in certain times, often offering very different advice and very different accounts.  If the Bible was dictated by God, was inerrant and without flaw and not contextually based, why would we have four gospels and not just one, and why would we have at least two creation stories, etc.?  Further, I do not see the Bible as the definitive source of decisions or opinions when it comes to what we have learned via science.  That is not the purpose of the Bible.  The Bible serves as a landmark book describing the pre-Jesus belief system and the post-Jesus belief system.  It is a guide, based on a new covenant which is based on love, forgiveness, acceptance and grace.  It should no more serve as an archeological or geological or biological reference book than it should serve as computer repair manual.  That is not its purpose and to argue such flies in the face of all we know.  Have we forgotten Copernicus so quickly, who was persecuted by the church because the Bible implied that earth was the center of everything the sun orbiting earth, and Copernicus had the gall to point out that in fact the earth orbits the sun?

I am further amazed that despite all we have learned about our universe and this planet and the laws that govern such are denied and ignored by some.  The earth is not 6,000 years old.  There is evolution of species as well as natural selection.  The sun does not orbit the earth.  The earth is not flat.  I cannot fathom a current belief system that so blatantly ignores the facts.  Nor can I imagine anyone with any sense claiming there are no errors in a Bible full of such disinformation.  So there, I said it.  The Bible is wrong if we look to it to make scientific decisions and discoveries.  I am no more likely to turn to the Bible for help with my smart phone, adjusting my telescope, my microscope, or brushing the dirt off the latest fossil than I am to turn to Greek Mythology.  Yes, I am an atheist.  Of all the gods of history I do not believe any of them exist except the one I believe in.  I am an atheist when it comes to Zeus, Caesar, Pharaohs, Buddha, Mohammed, etc.  I do not believe those were real gods or real messengers, therefore I am an atheist for every religion save my own.  I believe that is true for everyone.

I am equally flabbergasted by those who believe that the United States was founded on Christian principles and ordained by God.  I strongly encourage everyone who believes that to retake your high school American History and Government courses.  Because this is an important tenet of the conservative Christian I shall devote more time and space to this belief. 

One of the big reasons people came here from Europe was to escape religious persecution.  In Europe the governments endorsed a brand of religion and everyone was required to follow it.  I cannot understand how conservative Christians can support doing the same thing here.  Further, the majority of the founding fathers were rational deists, not Christians per se.  It was very important to them that the government and the church remain totally separate.  They had seen what happened when one brand of belief was adopted as the law of the land, and the First Amendment to the Constitution was to guarantee that the government never take a stand pro or con on religious beliefs.  “In God We Trust” was first added to our currency in 1957, our motto e pluribus unum was replaced by the motto “one nation under God” in 1956, and “one nation under God” was added to the pledge in 1954.  In other words, these are all recent developments triggered by our fear of communism, not practices established in the late 1700’s.  To get a sense of what the Founding Fathers thought the following are statements from the 1700’s:

If I could conceive that the general government might ever be so administered as to render the liberty of conscience insecure, I beg you will be persuaded, that no one would be more zealous than myself to establish effectual barriers against the horrors of spiritual tyranny, and every species of religious persecution. - George Washington, letter to the United Baptist Chamber of Virginia (1789)

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, then that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson, letter to Peter Carr (1787)

In regard to religion, mutual toleration in the different professions thereof is what all good and candid minds in all ages have ever practiced, and both by precept and example inculcated on mankind. - Samuel Adams, The Rights of the Colonists (1771)

Persecution is not an original feature in any religion; but it is always the strongly marked feature of all religions established by law. Take away the law-establishment, and every religion re-assumes its original benignity. - Thomas Paine, The Rights of Man (1791)

Congress has no power to make any religious establishments. - Roger Sherman, Congress (1789)

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1758)

I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people build a wall of separation between Church & State. - Thomas Jefferson, letter to the Danbury Baptists (1802)

To argue with a man who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine, The American Crisis No. V (1776)

Our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions in physics or geometry. - Thomas Jefferson, A Bill for Establishing Religious Freedom (1779)

Christian establishments tend to great ignorance and corruption, all of which facilitate the execution of mischievous projects. - James Madison, letter to William Bradford, Jr. (1774)

There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness. - George Washington, address to Congress (1790)

During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution. - James Madison, General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Virginia (1785)

It remains very clear to me that our Founding Fathers were absolutely opposed to the interference of religion in our life politic and that our government should never endorse or support any religion.  Further it is very clear that they recognized our young country as one based on rational thought, secularism and education.  

The earliest statement we have from an act of Congress regarding the relationship of our government to Christianity is from the Treaty of Tripoli in June of 1797, passed unanimously by the US Senate and signed by President John Adams:

Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen (Muslims); and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan (Mohammedan) nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Given the drive by conservative Christians to make legal their own view of the world creates a reason the federal government has intruded more and more in our lives, and many do not want to see it.  If the federal government had not intruded in our lives then African Americans would still be property and slaves.  If the federal government had not intruded women could not own property and could not vote.  If the federal government had not intruded makers of goods would not be held accountable for their products and food producers would not be held accountable for the safety of their food.  If the federal government had not intruded American workers would work in hazardous working conditions that threatened their lives.  I could go on and on.  The bottom line is that when faced with a decision, the states historically have not been willing to make such a decision.  The feds did, and for that I am grateful, not resentful.

The urge to apply social values via law is really no different than the Taliban banning girls from receiving an education and ISIS declaring that girls who are infidels, i.e. do not believe as they believe, are subject to slavery and sexual trafficking.  If we make homosexuality a violation of the law we are doing much the same.  If we make same-sex marriage illegal we are doing much the same.  If we make abortion illegal we are doing much the same.  We simply cannot allow the belief system of some to become the law of the land.  If we do, we are blaspheming the reason this nation was founded and are acting in ways that are identical to the terrorist groups we see in operation world-wide:  If you do not believe as I believe you will be punished. 

I believe God has the power to have made us all love Him and worship Him.  He chose not to do so.  He gave us free will.  I am deeply saddened when I hear folks who use His name to attempt to require all of us to believe as they do.  Such people are not Gods.  Such behavior is morally wrong.

Speaking of, the attacks by this group on the President of the United States are beyond my grasp.  I do not get it at all.  Obama is a Christian, perhaps not a Christian in the same way these groups are Christian, but he says he is a Christian and how dare anyone challenge such a profession of faith?  And, if he were a Muslim, so what?  If a major reason for the creation of the US of A was to end religious discrimination, then why would we care in a rational, secular democracy if our leader was Muslim, or Buddhist, or atheist or Southern Baptist?  (Well, I may now have gone too far.)  I am left with the feeling that the attacks are racially based, and that is really sad.  When the smoke clears I believe Obama will be seen as one of the greatest Presidents we have ever had.  He inherited a huge national debt and has shrunk it.  He inherited two wars and has dramatically reduced our involvement in both.  He inherited a group of terrorists out to destroy us and led us to the death and capture of most of their leaders.  He inherited huge unemployment figures and he reduced them.   He inherited an economy on the verge of depression and stabilized that economy, turned it around, and we now witness an economy even healthier than the one Bush inherited and almost destroyed.  And, for the very first time he was able to forge a national health care system that increased by the millions the numbers of Americans covered by health insurance.  And this man is attacked by our own citizens in ways that we would call treasonous if said by others.  I do not get it.  But each of these attacks waged by “Christians” comes from the conservative side of that belief system all of whom seem to me to have missed the entire point of the New Testament.

The message of the New Testament to me is to love my God, love my neighbor, accept my neighbor, forgive my neighbor and not to insist on having my own way.  The message of the Constitution of the US is that the government will not respect, i.e., recognize, any religion.  Christ spent his time with the poor, the ill, the needy and many of his messages lambasted the wealthy and lambasted those who were bigots for one reason or another.  I believe if Christ returned and delivered the same messages He has already delivered, He would be booed by the Conservative Christians.  And, I believe, He would not deliver such messages from a multi-million dollar mega church or in the seat of wealth and luxury.


Hence my question:  is the moniker “Conservative Christian” an oxymoron?  For me the answer is yes.