Easter Eve

From one-eyedbob.blospot.com on 4/19/2014

Despite the cantatas, the hymns, the sermons and prayers this is the time of year I reflect on my faith.  Do I really believe there is a God, a supreme being who created all things, knows all things and yet seems to step back and watch shit happen?  Do I really believe Jesus was the son of such a God?  Do I really believe he was perfect?  Do I really believe he was conceived by a holy spirit?  Do I really believe he rose from the dead and yet lives?  Or, is all of this pre-medieval superstition, the opiate of the people.  I was raised to believe, so it is difficult to reflect on this topic.  If I choose not to believe, then I dishonor my father who devoted his life to preaching this belief.  And yet, it all seems pretty bizarre.  I will keep all this to myself as I sit in services where sometimes I feel like a spy.