A Model Prayer to God

At some point, fairly recently, I opened my eyes and began to think about the liturgy in church.  I stopped saying prayers and creeds by rote, and started thinking about what I was really saying.  For instance:

The Lord’s Prayer, Mathew 6: 9-13.  I have said this prayer almost every Sunday for as long as I can remember, though I grew up Presbyterian and said “debtors” the shift to the Methodist “trespasses” was not tough.  But as I said the words this past Sunday my brain was in gear.  I had thoughts.  That means I had problems.  Why is this the “Lord’s Prayer?”  Is this the prayer the Lord says?  Is this the prayer Jesus said?  Is this a prayer that should serve as a model for humans to address a God?  If so, shouldn’t it be called “The Model Prayer to God?”

“Our Father.”  Really?  Is God my father?  Is there a DNA or paternity test we can run?  If he is my father, than am I his son?  If so, this whole sacrifice your son to abate our sins gets really complicated for me.  Why didn't Jesus simply say, “God, my father,” or something similar?  As a father I would do anything for my kids.  Why is it that God allows such pain and cruelty among His kids?  Not sure I can call Him Father as I look at war, starvation, childhood cancer, etc.  Or is this simply another reference to God as the creator of all.  If so, God becomes father to ants, mosquitoes, snakes, etc.

“Who art in heaven.”  OK, now I am really stumped.  We do not know where heaven is, but evidently that is where God is.  Is he here on earth too, as in omnipresent?  If so, why say who art in heaven?  Why not simply say “who is everywhere”?

“Hallowed be Thy name.”  OK, so his name is sacred or holy.  Isn’t that a no-brainer?  If I am praying to some deity it seems stupid to pray to one who is not sacred or holy.  And, what’s in a name?  And which name?  There are 102 different names listed in the Bible for God.  Which one, or are all hallowed?  If one has 102 handles, sacred is not the word that comes to mind.  More like an identity crisis, or an IMDb listing for God.

“Your kingdom come.”  Is that what we really want?  The kingdom of God established on this planet?  What would that be like?  What would it be like if we take the Bible literally and deny divorce, stone women who are not virgins on their wedding night, do away with medicine and psychiatry and simply practice faith healing?  Is that what we want? 

“Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  What is Thy will?  Sounds like the question I have been asking and praying about for years.  What do you want me to do?  If you have a plan for me why do you keep it a secret?  If you have a plan for all of us, why keep it a secret?  Just tell me what you want.  After I am told I will decide whether to pray for that will to be done.  God’s will may be terrible for humanity.  As I see the worldwide bloodshed in the name of some deity I wonder if that is in fact God’s will.  If so, I want no part of it.  If heaven knows and lives God’s will, then surely we deserve a glimpse.

“Give us this day our daily bread.”  As long as we are asking God for stuff, food seems OK.  Why not ask for water?  Why not wealth and health?  Why not a great sex life?  Why not my team winning Super Bowl?  Nope, just bread.  Seems like the prayer prescribed by Jesus is woefully short on the list of things humans need most to thrive.  How do we explain all the people starving on this planet who pray this prayer?

“And forgive us our debts/trespasses.”  If God has influence in personal finance, then His forgiveness of our debts would be great.  I don’t see that happening after years and years of Christian praying.  If the term should be trespass, are we talking boundary violations, rule breaking?  OK, I’d get seeking forgiveness for that, but looks like there are a lot of people in prison who have been praying this prayer and are still in prison. 

“As we forgive our debtors/those who trespass against us.”  The economy would freak and banks would collapse if all humans forgave the debt others owe us.  Would be nice for the debtor, not so much for the lender, but I do not see it happening.  If this means something like someone owes me a favor, then I can see forgiving that.  People who have violated my boundaries, or the boundaries of my loved ones are much tougher to forgive.  If I am to simply forgive debts and trespasses by just announcing that I have done so, why doesn’t God do the same thing?  Why did He have to go through sending his only son to earth to die a terrible death?  If that is the cost of offering forgiveness, then I am not going to pray for that.

“Lead us not into temptation.”  This phrase angers me.  If I were to design and create humans in my image why would I build in temptation?  Is God tempted?  If He doesn’t want me to lust, covet, eat too much, drink too much, and gamble too much, etc., why did He build in the urges in the first place?  Seems terribly unreasonable to construct a being with temptations then tell them not to go there. 

“But deliver us from evil.”  If we pray this second phrase are we relieved of temptation?  I don’t think so.  What evil are we to be delivered from?  The evil of other religions hence all the holy wars?  The evil of physical pleasure which we are hard wired to seek?  Why would God wire us to rush to evil?  These two phrases make no sense to me.  Why not just say help us do good things and avoid doing bad things.

“For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever.”  Right back where we started.  Where is this kingdom and what is it like?  If He has all this power then why isn’t this prayer answered all the time?  If He answered it all the time, then He would likely receive more glory.  Otherwise, we have a hard time convincing others that our invisible man in the magic kingdom is very powerful and worthy of glory. 

Amen.