God, Please Talk to Your Followers

Your followers, especially the Christians, are driving me crazy.  You really need to straighten a few things out for them.  For instance, do you take an active role in their lives or are you an observer from afar.  I see football players scoring a touchdown and thanking you.  Is that right?  Did you give them some sort of boost to score?  If so, why are you punishing all the other Christian athletes when they pray to score or to win?  Do you play favorites?  I can’t believe that you do elsewise you really are not worth worshipping.  So please let them know that the good stuff and the bad stuff in their lives is just random and that you are not the causal factor.

That goes for illness too.  How many prayer warrior lists can one person be on and still lose everyone who is prayed for?  What’s the deal?  Whole groups of folks have gathered in earnest prayer for hours and hours for this person with liver and lung cancer, and dad gum, there was no miracle and he died.  It appears to me that if you wanted to increase your following you would cure Christians and let the others die.  But even doing that goes against some of what you preach.  So please just let them know that if they get sick it is up to modern medicine, genetics, the quality of the doctors and randomness that determines outcomes.  That is only fair if you are not going to intervene.

That goes for all the morons who think they see Jesus or Mary in a waffle, or a tree stump or reflected on the side of a building.   Would please just let them know that you do not communicate that way.  You used to use burning bushes, carved stones, eclipses and the like, but I think you must have given all that up as well.

And what is with this 2 to 4000 year old book your followers treat like it is sacred.  Would you please just tell them that humans got a lot of stuff wrong in that book?  It was never meant to be a science book, it is more like Hans Christian Anderson than Mathew Mark and Luke.  The people who are taking that old book literally are really frightful: an eye for an eye, stone all homosexuals, divorced people and non-virgins on their wedding night, and stone anyone who believes differently than what you dictate.  How in the world can that stuff be holy?  Not to mention you missed some wonderful opportunities to tell us slavery was bad, treating women poorly was bad, and that all God’s children are equally loved.  Well, you kind of said that but then the rest of your book conflicts with that.

And most of all, will you please clear up how you are going to communicate.  If the burning bushes and stone tablets are gone, and the inspiration that occurred to some scribe writing by candlelight on papyrus 2,000 years ago is over, what will you use?  There are claims that you are a personal God for all 7 billion of us, but you are not on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other vehicle that comes close to reaching even half of us.  Even my email accounts send me notice when my message has been read.  No one gets that kind of assurance when they pray.  You could do skywriting and a lot of folks would see it.  Or, send an angel somewhere like Disney World where everyone has a camera and a cell phone.  But you are not even trying.  So what is the deal? 

For me, the general impression is you do not exist.  If you do, you set stuff up and moved away to set up other stuff elsewhere and we have been talking to ourselves all these years waiting for what is not going to happen.  The people who are most defensive about this are the people who believe they talk to you and you respond, but they are very forgiving.  They always say they got an answer, but it wasn’t what they asked for, or god will take his own sweet time.  Holy Moly.  These folks are more forgiving of you than you are of them.  (Still punishing us for some apple in a garden 6,000 years ago?  Come on, get over it.)  If you are there, just tell them anything they think they hear from you is a sign of mental illness.  And since you no longer communicate with us, how will you counter the growing number of people who say you cannot possibly exist and if you do you are mean and wicked? 

So please, straighten these things out for the Christians.  You are so confusing to them they cannot decide for whom to vote, whether Muslims are evil or just other fuzzy headed believers in something else, and what should we do with Syrian refugees.  I see you gave Donald the old Jericho lesson, but he did not listen.  One more failure to communicate.

I know.   You will be a no-show.  Nobody waits at the foot of the mountain because the believers think they know it all, everybody grabs a fire extinguisher when we see a burning bush because we have been prepared since 9/11, and no one gets blinded on the road to Dallas.  And the only ones who get swallowed by whales die and sue Sea World.

So come on, communicate will you?  Not with me.  I’ve written you off and if you want me back you will have to communicate.  I am more concerned about the millions who go around talking to their imaginary friend believing when they die they are coming to be with you in Never-Never Land.