Apologizing for God

Assume for a moment that there is a God, an omnipotent, omniscient being who designed and created all that there is including humans.  If so, then we humans are to such God as an amoeba is to us.  Why then, do we need to apologize for so many of God’s actions? 

I ask this question because I can reason, I can think.  Why would a creator God give me such reasoning ability if the net result is either abandonment of the concept of God or a life time of apology?  

Why would we be so impressed with a God who is willing to sacrifice His son for the sins of everyone?  I would never consider such a heinous act with my own children?  Why would an all knowing being do such a thing if He really cares about His son in the same way we care for our children?  Any deity that would ask me to sacrifice my son is not a loving deity.  Why would He model such behavior?  Or, is the death of loved ones no big deal for such a God?

If God designed us he seems to either have an incredible mean streak or a bizarre sense of humor.  Why would those things we tend to love the most and want the most be so bad for us or others?  Food, sex, wealth, etc., are universally desired.  And yet we only remain healthy if we limit our own appetites.  If I ate all that I wanted whenever I wanted I would become obese and unhealthy.  If I had sex with everyone I desired I would be divorced and locked up.  If I make the accumulation of wealth and all the accoutrements of such my life's goal I would be a person without moral or scruple.  Why would He design us to be in the business of self-denial of what we want all the time?  That is just mean.  And for God’s sake, why is exercise so good for us?  I hate it.  If arriving in heaven is good thing, why did He program us with a will to live, even if we are miserable and hopeless? 

Why tell us that if we knock the door will be opened when most of us still stand outside with bleeding knuckles?  Prayer is not answered.  If it is, it is answered in a random, unpredictable way.  We pray deeply for some and they die, we pray deeply for others and their death is postponed.  If God can save anyone from death why doesn’t He?  Is that negligent homicide?

If God designed us and the universe, then why are 95% of the plants on planet earth toxic to us?  Why is almost 80% of planet earth uninhabitable to us?  Why can’t we breathe underwater or breathe in space or survive extreme cold and heat?  Seems so mean to place sentient beings in such an inhospitable environment.  Fish and one-celled organisms are more adapted to life on earth than we are.

If God is a loving and forgiving being, then why are we still being punished for Adam and Eve?  Why would His son have to die to forgive us?  Why not just forgive us? 

To continue to love and worship such a God I must forgive Him.  Forgive Him for a lot!  If so, who is the better being, the superior being? 

Or have we invented all this mythology based on what was our limited understanding of the universe and human behavior?  What we call the scripture was written by mostly illiterate, bronze-aged men.  If the knowledge and memories of all humans were erased would we develop language, social institutions, laws and art?  Yes.  Would we re-discover all math and all science?  Yes.  Would we “re-discover” God?  Not so sure.  Unless we observed burning bushes, walking on water, resurrections, etc., I do not think religion would be “discovered” in this century.  None of those miraculous events seem to happen anymore, if ever. 

So, shall I be a blind believer, or an apologist, or an atheist?  For now, I am praying for insight.