Dear Creationists and Fundamentalists

Did you hear that the Episcopalian Diocese of Washington DC adopted a gendered language resolution so that they will stop using gender specific terms for Father, Son, etc., and use gender neutral pronouns?  Ha!  You right wing Christians must be blowing a gasket.  Imagine trying to update the Bible to the 21^st Century!  Blasphemy!

Of course the Bible cannot be updated to current knowledge, science, understanding and culture.  To do so would admit it is flawed and not a divine holy book.  If God dictated and or inspired this book and there are boo-boos, then all of the book is now in question.  Burning bushes?  Red Sea?  Resurrection?  Water into wine?  Yaadaayaadaayaadaa.  Why if we can change any of it, we could change all of it and at that point it has no meaning and no authenticity.  But there are problems in the Bible.

Have you decided which creation story is the right one, the holy one, the one you believe?  There are two, you know.  One in Genesis 1 and the other in Genesis 2.  In Genesis 1 God takes 6 days to separate light and dark, land and sea, make all the animals and all the plants, then makes man in his own image.  God takes a nap on the 7^th day.  Genesis 2 God does similar things, but when it comes around to making man He forgets to make a female.  He made male and female plants and told them to be fruitful and multiply, male and female animals and told them to be fruitful and multiply, but He forgot to make a female human.  Duh.  Silly God.  Now he has to knock out Adam and steal a rib.  He can’t make a female from scratch evidently.  Now he has it right.  Which creation story is true?  Smart God in Genesis 1 or dumb God in Genesis 2? 

And while we are at it, dear Creationists, how do you account for the fact that God made us in his own image and gave us dominion over everything, but placed us on a planet where trees and turtles out live us, we can only live on about 15% of the planet, and our legs and spines are designed in a way that they give out about the time we are 60 because of gravity?  I won’t mention when breasts give out.  Why don’t we have gills?  That does not sound like intelligent design to me.

I for one applaud the Episcopalians.  They should keep going.  I think they should re-write the beatitudes to condemn misogyny, racism and slavery.  They should take out all those references to homosexuals and should just say abortion is OK and a fundamental decision assigned to all women.  They should clearly say the earth is round, the moon orbits the earth and is not a light source, and the earth orbits the sun, and they should make clear that carbon dating is a valid scientific process so the earth is way more than 10,000 years old and dinosaurs and humans were never alive at the same time.  They should recognize that evolution is a reality.  I think they should re-write the technical specifications of the ark to include the tech specs for the internal combustion engine, light bulbs, computers, rockets, cell phones, microwaves, etc.  The Bible is touted as the only source of wisdom we need and yet it really is pretty well stuck in the Bronze Age.  They should make it clear that free enterprise is based on greed and should be avoided.  They should also re-write the story of Jesus so he does not have to die at the hands the Romans and Jews, and therefore there is no need for us to remember him with cannibalistic rituals.

I am so glad I am not a creationist or a fundamentalist.  I would hate to profess a faith so full of ignorant beliefs and be laughed at by everyone with at least a high school diploma.

And yet, if one claims to be a Christian and is not a fundamentalist, and believes the Bible has errors, how can one be a Christian?  The Bible is either holy or holey.  So, I avoid that claim as well.